Woman sitting on grass holding soccer ball

OPINION: I’m On The U.S. Women’s Soccer Team And I Deserve To Be Paid Less

By Chandice Owen

The liberals on the U.S. women’s soccer team say that because I’m a star player and role model for little girls, that means I have to agree with their far-left views on pay equality. Well guess what, the women’s soccer community doesn’t have enough diversity of thought when it comes to how much we should make. I think we’re paid more than enough. In fact, I think we should be paid less — much less. 

If anyone should be paid more it’s men. I don’t just mean male athletes either, I mean men everywhere. I’m challenging conventional women’s soccer-player thought and the rest of my team can’t stand it. They attack me just for being a free thinker and having my own opinion. It’s like they’re saying there’s a right and a wrong way to be a women’s soccer player. It’s disgusting and I won’t stand for it!

In unrelated news, I’ve accepted lucrative opinion contributor positions at multiple right-wing media outlets.