Toilet paper roll with "panic" written on only ply left, rainbow flag background

WE WERE RIGHT TO BE SCARED: Trans People Are Now Jumping Out Of Bathroom Stalls And Screaming BOO!

LINCOLN, NE— When the Left vetoed common sense bathroom bills, conservatives predicted that people using the bathroom of the gender they identify with would lead to scary consequences. It is with a heavy heart that we report this prediction has become reality: Trans people are now jumping out of bathroom stalls and screaming “BOO!”

“Public restrooms used to be safe, comfortable places, populated entirely by people born with the same genitalia,” said John Taylor, a Republican from Lincoln, NE. He continued, “As a father, I now worry about letting my three-year-old wander into a truck stop restroom by herself. How do I explain it if some trans person pops out of a stall and screams ‘BOO!’ My little angel might never feel at peace sitting on the warm seat of a public toilet again.”

While at this point these reports are anecdotal, they are spreading like wildfire and the public is scared. If these bathroom bills aren’t reversed, it might not be long before the entire country feels uncomfortable using public restrooms. People may even start trying to avoid them when possible.