An old man merrily screaming with an animated speaker coming from his mouth that says "our country" and a millennial woman looking horrified in the corner

Liberal Colleges Are Indoctrinating Our Children And Other Fun Things To Scream At Your Niece

The holidays can be a stressful time for every family, but especially so when the gathering includes relatives from across the political spectrum. Liberals in today’s politically fractured America often worry the dinner table conversation will become political and then go off the rails. On the other side of the coin, conservative uncles and aunts worry about how to steer the conversation towards politics and then derail it in spectacular fashion. We believe the solution to the latter lies in yelling the perfect thing at your liberal family member. On that note, here are four fun things to scream at your niece:

1. “Liberal Colleges are indoctrinating our children!” This is especially effective if your niece is currently in, or fresh out, of college. Anything she says afterwards is now discredited by the fact you claim she’s indoctrinated. Checkmate!

2. “Name one thing Trump did that was bad!” This one is a bit of a two-parter. When you shout this at your niece, it’ll look like her head is about to explode but she’ll still respond. Then, whatever she says, you look her right in the eyes and go, “you think that’s bad but you support Biden?” Boom baby!

3. “Classic liberal, when you don’t have a good argument you resort to name-calling!” This is great for all you race-baiting uncles and aunts out there. The second your niece mentions racism you come firing in with this beauty. Got her!

4. “Where’d you hear that, CNN?” This fairly recent comeback has only been terrorizing nieces for a few years but that doesn’t mean it’s going away anytime soon. One key point to remember is that if they respond with a different news organization, you simply exclaim, “That’s even worse!” Game, set, match!